Skip to main content

And the story continues......

I was 18 back then. In school, I searched everyday within to have the strength and mindset to learn. It was difficult with all the different temptations of life bringing you towards an unpaved track. Being in love, the booze and the drugs. Mind you, I am not an addict but I did try a few here and there just to see what the fuss was all about. As my perception of drugs was changed with umpteen numbers of documentary of its benefits, I somehow move towards it carefully with respect and a goal to expand my consciousness.

I feel sorry for people who has their mindset and emotions about how drugs are bad for you. How you will get hooked and be damaged forever. Don't get me wrong, there are those kind of hard drugs circulating around. What I am referring to are the 'light' or so called party drugs. These are meant for fun and enjoyment. Little side effects but the experience of it will stay with you for life. With the countless propaganda society has brought forth, people just blindly agree without even trying or finding out more from others experiences. How can you agree to something you know nothing about? How can someone say, "Yes! Drugs are bad!" without even taking the time to understand its uses and the positivity of the experience. Its as if we are still children and are not able to take the time to think about what is good and what is bad for ourselves.

There are much worst chemicals which we inhale, eat and drink everyday without even knowing that they can sometimes be or are far worst than the a spliff. From MSG to Flouride in our toothpaste.

Totally off topic but these experiences have shaped me into what I am today. My mind is constantly open to everything. From religion to UFOs. It has helped and allowed me have my own mind and cherish my own thoughts and perception as they are mine alone. It helped me see the true devastation of this world that we are surviving in.

As curious as I was, I fell in love. To me at that point of time, nothing else ever mattered. Not school. Never parents. And especially not the materialistic world. Being in love made me realise something of myself and the holographic reality i am questioning daily. It shed new light into a dark cave of endless routes and crevices. It showed me hope, inspirations and gratitude towards the other person. Maybe not immediately, but through the course of the roller coaster emotional trip.

From a simple caress of her fingers to her undeniably haunting kiss. So sweet and hypnotising. It always puts me in a trance. After every slide of our tongue and deep impressions of her lips on mine, there is a bridge that illuminates our never ending bond that makes us whole. That made us one.

There was actually a funny story to this. As though it was painted in the gallery of my memories. I remembered clearly with full of emotions and anxiety that flows within the overwhelming feeling of her kiss. It was our first. In a darkened corner where only stars can peep. We sat facing each other. Contemplating to be chivalric as I wondered. She locked her gaze onto the sides of my face. As i turned, I was welcomed by a warm surprise. In absolute comfort and shock, I utter the most horrendous of sounds which, come to think of it, was slightly childish and ever amusing. A tiny 'oohh,' i blurted out till 3 with every moving lips. Embarrassed and blushed, I had to use the Jedi Mindtricks on myself to silence the humour and proceed with the connection of unfulfilled lips that never have been  touched the same way.

Intimacy and love untwined into a soupy vibrant collage of messy hairs and clothes left astray on the floors. Such a connection between two souls. Throughout our times, we connected so deep to our cores where we can just devour each other in our shared essence of life. There is no you or me. Its only us. I only knew of this kind of love and connection with her. I still smile when I reminisced of the times we occupy together. Though society was hard on us, we were living in our own world. Our shared reality of life that disavowed materialistic and societical views. We were our own universe. How I miss such perfect justification of what life was.

So suddenly, the trial begins...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Wedding was not Mine

News have broken, Happiness impart, Eyes wide open, Plans have to start, We wanted simple, Small and intimate, Plans start to swivel, Trying to accommodate, Additions of lavish, Prices rocket high, Expectations not managed, Every counter with a sigh, Arrangements are muddled, Breath gets anxious, Organisers clutched and bustle, While our ideas are vanquished, So we step aside, Decided our own side plans, Nodding coincides, Arms down with helping hands, A moment of realisation, That this wedding is never ours, Giving way to our "wise" parents, Protecting an image of theirs, Well this is the tradition, Our "culture" in fact, Bop heads in submission, Keeping love intact, So do what you wish, We just hand over the deposit, Over-choosing every dish, Burning holes in our pocket, Then here the day comes, Nervous but excited, Deafening loud drums, Costumes over budget, Yet smiles are endless, Minds,...

My Suffering

I have been broken, Fractured and sliced, Wounds that tore open, Bruised muscles across my thigh, Heartbreak is much worst, Loneliness that scarred, Tears that seem endless, A hurt that stretched out too far, But this is the ultimate pain, For nothing can describe the torture, A feeling like acid in my veins, Breaking my soul to such a horror, Yet no blood will be spilled,  No tear I can show, No solution will reveal, Not mine, yet I can't let go, Nothing is more painful than to see your suffering, Difficult coming to terms, not being to control everything, But rest assured, through this pain, you'll have my support, No matter what happens, I am here. This is what I can afford, Love, Papa.

Happiness is not Wise

Do you want to know the secret, Of perpetual elation? Where there are no limits, A pleasure with no cessation, One is in always noticing, What is close to our hearts, It could be someone or something, A moment ended or about to start, Know that it’s not a destination, Neither a purpose nor a goal, As happiness is a mere consequence, To a choice we CAN control, A contentment of being, Existing within this vastness, Ever grateful to be living, Then, it’s everywhere to be harness, But happiness is not wise, So choose only when permits, As when all other emotions arise, Each one with its own merits, A grief, a sadness, Make moments more valid, An anger, the madness, Make us wise with knowledge, A surprise to be forever saved, A disgust to show such a violent reality, Fear only teaches us to be brave, Cultivating our soul, invariably, Revel in these emotions, Feel fully and accept, Life, it deserves a d...