Maybe I cannot easily explain the situation i am suffering in. But nevertheless, I will try. Started on a warm fateful Monday. Emotions were frantically jumping in and out of our hearts. A loosening gap of an almost entire lifetime of emotions.
Well, I am somewhat of an emotional person. However, patience is one of my stronghold. I was, during that time, happily in a long term relationship to whom I thought would be the last girl I will ever love. A 10 year long relationship. It doesn't get any more intense then that. For the past decade, I have been, frown upon, extremely happy and contented. It worked out to be something that is irreplaceable for me. Even till now. Well it wasn't perfect. But which relationship ever is?
The bestest of friends. We couldn't get enough of each other. We spent almost all of our waking time together. Went everywhere. Did everything. We even had our first EURO trip when we were younger with money to spare. Inseparable.
Petty fights and quarrels frequent at some point but we always manage to pull through in the account of our long term relationship and the false promises we made to ourselves and each other of green pastured futures with children running around in our imaginations. The girl was a special one. Intuitive but superbly insecure. Again, which girl isn't. She is a beautiful as the clouds dancing in the sunlight. Full of silvers and yet greys still holds within.
In my perspective, I understand the complexity of each individual and the wisdom and experiences they went through to be who they really are now. This, I feel, is sometimes dangerous to know. It's true when they say, ignorance is bliss! Well from what I know is, people can change. I did. I grew more egoistic and comfortable to the point where 'OUR' times together as mostly based on mine. As insecure as she is, she did allow some grace and compromise which i loved her more for.
However, it seems very difficult to be in a relationship where it feels that you cannot be trusted. Nonetheless, she was contented with our lives and time together. With our endless meetings everyday. Maybe she was afraid that I will replace her. Which I know truly at that point of time that I could never. This is mainly due to her insecurities. Every girl that passes becomes the fuel for arguments. Colleague becomes thought of envy and hatred. And even the mentioning of another feminine acquaintance will be a catalyst for a sulking young insecure women. Try changing that. It took awhile (years eventually) but I managed to convince her that I am the only one for her and no one will ever have my heart. Still true till this day.
She was the one that truly got away but destiny has a bigger part to play in our lives than we even know it.
Changing someone comes with consequences that I now, finally realised. I have been, during the 5-9year of the relationship, reading and understanding the meaning of life. I learnt a lot but the true teacher was time. The experiences that I had with full of submission and gratitude as those are the lessons that will sear us in our rear ends so every single time we sit, we will be reminded of the humility and the shortness of our lives.
We got together and decided on a relationship right after our valentine day date. I thought it would be corny to have an anniversary on February 14th. So, impatiently, I waited for next day. This is where it all started. 10 years back......
Well, I am somewhat of an emotional person. However, patience is one of my stronghold. I was, during that time, happily in a long term relationship to whom I thought would be the last girl I will ever love. A 10 year long relationship. It doesn't get any more intense then that. For the past decade, I have been, frown upon, extremely happy and contented. It worked out to be something that is irreplaceable for me. Even till now. Well it wasn't perfect. But which relationship ever is?
The bestest of friends. We couldn't get enough of each other. We spent almost all of our waking time together. Went everywhere. Did everything. We even had our first EURO trip when we were younger with money to spare. Inseparable.
Petty fights and quarrels frequent at some point but we always manage to pull through in the account of our long term relationship and the false promises we made to ourselves and each other of green pastured futures with children running around in our imaginations. The girl was a special one. Intuitive but superbly insecure. Again, which girl isn't. She is a beautiful as the clouds dancing in the sunlight. Full of silvers and yet greys still holds within.
In my perspective, I understand the complexity of each individual and the wisdom and experiences they went through to be who they really are now. This, I feel, is sometimes dangerous to know. It's true when they say, ignorance is bliss! Well from what I know is, people can change. I did. I grew more egoistic and comfortable to the point where 'OUR' times together as mostly based on mine. As insecure as she is, she did allow some grace and compromise which i loved her more for.
However, it seems very difficult to be in a relationship where it feels that you cannot be trusted. Nonetheless, she was contented with our lives and time together. With our endless meetings everyday. Maybe she was afraid that I will replace her. Which I know truly at that point of time that I could never. This is mainly due to her insecurities. Every girl that passes becomes the fuel for arguments. Colleague becomes thought of envy and hatred. And even the mentioning of another feminine acquaintance will be a catalyst for a sulking young insecure women. Try changing that. It took awhile (years eventually) but I managed to convince her that I am the only one for her and no one will ever have my heart. Still true till this day.
She was the one that truly got away but destiny has a bigger part to play in our lives than we even know it.
Changing someone comes with consequences that I now, finally realised. I have been, during the 5-9year of the relationship, reading and understanding the meaning of life. I learnt a lot but the true teacher was time. The experiences that I had with full of submission and gratitude as those are the lessons that will sear us in our rear ends so every single time we sit, we will be reminded of the humility and the shortness of our lives.
We got together and decided on a relationship right after our valentine day date. I thought it would be corny to have an anniversary on February 14th. So, impatiently, I waited for next day. This is where it all started. 10 years back......
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